“Hi, my name is Dave and I suffer from Masklophobia.” “Hi Dave!” Dave makes absolutely no progress on his phobia in Episode 7 as he claims that all 2 of his issues stem from Halloween. Jason makes a great impression on his new boss. And both agree that a new holiday – “Falladay” should be implemented across the board. 

   Welcome, millions, perhaps billions of faithful podcast listeners. We are your host, Jason Kimber and Dave Simmons. We'll bring you along with us as we share life stories from our experiences living in small towns, or in Jason's case, an unincorporated community. That's true, along with genius suggestions for solving the world's problems and a whole lot of laughs.

This is the Small Towns podcast. These podcasts, in my mind, they just keep getting better and better. Well, that's the idea. I mean, the first one you would hope you'd go up from there. It's been quite fun to kind of share funny stories of small towns, share fun stories of present day experiences, things of that nature.

And these podcasts, really, they've, I may be so bold, seem to sometimes just kind of pick up a life of their own. They really do. You know, I was thinking about you and Grouse. Crick. Thank you for saying that. And you, I'm trying my best, even though it's so awkward. Yeah. And how life just even maybe with different holidays could be interesting for you.

Oh, for sure. 'cause in my neighborhood, there were enough houses around where, let's say for Halloween, yeah, the kids could be, you know, door to door to door and really rolling with in candy. By the end of the night, you're miles from people. Oh. For sure. How do you trick or treat, for instance in, Hmm. Not that anybody should be trick or treating, 'cause I think it's stupid, but, but how would you do that in Grouse Creek?

Oh, first of all, buddy, I, I love Halloween. And you say that, and you're right. I mean, the neighborhood that we live in now, it's very walkable. You're going door to door and it's fun. But my sweet mom, bless her heart, I mean, she would take us in the car, of course, trick or treating and it would be like, boy, a 30 mile loop.

You know what I mean? You'd have to start like at noon. Well, I mean, you know, you. Any, any good activity takes time, buddy. And it's worth doing. Worth doing well. Well, you just validated the fact that trick-or-treating is not a good activity. It's a fantastic activity. And, and the great thing about Halloween, buddy, is that it's not, it doesn't just culminate, I mean, it culminates in the trick-or-treating on that night, but like in grouse, we would have a Halloween carnival like at school and there'd be a cakewalk and bobbing for apples.

Fun games that you'd play for stupid little prizes that you'd get from that little catalog that you used to order from and get all this dumb little whistles and prizes. That escapes me now, but it's probably, 'cause it was only in Grass Creek, you'd wait for the Wells Fargo wagon to bring it out to your house.

Yeah. The name, I'm hoping the name comes to me before the end of this podcast, but uh, yeah, you'd just order these prizes and it'd be so much fun and then we'd always put on a haunted house. Stupid. It's all dumb. I'm telling you, I blame all of my. Issues in life and there's probably only two. Yeah. You don't have a lot.

No, I'm, no, I have no issues except for Halloween. Okay. I think everything in my life that is bad stems from Halloween. Uh, I have a real problem with Halloween now. I stopped trick-or-treating in the fourth grade. I thought, this is silly. I don't need the neighbor men running around in costumes trying to scare all the kids.

And I have a sneaky suspicion on who two of those guys were. All of my angst in life goes back to that. But would you, you were willing to give up. Fourth grade. What he like 10. Well, 10 Ollie's in fifth and he's 11, so yeah, he would've been 10, so, so it's 10 years, years old. You're willing to give up the loop, the bounty of free candy.

The booty. Yeah. You'd willing to give all that up? Yeah. You know what, to me, Halloween candy tastes different because of the stigma in my mind about how Halloween. Ridiculous. No, there's a smell to Halloween and I, we've talked about how I'm very sensitive to smell. In fact, I think our last podcast I shared that I don't think anybody should ever be a.

Farting on my pillow. No. And it happens. That's true. It happens. I'm very sensitive to smells and I will throw right up. Yeah. In, in the wrong situation. But every Halloween, I don't know if it's psychological, I'm sure it's psychological that I can smell face paint and I can smell the spray paint that people put in their hair when they're kids.

Because I associate it with Halloween, and so every Halloween I am nauseous. It's terrible. I, I couldn't get a drink in elementary school because the smell of the fountain smelled like face paint and spray paint for hair. I can see like little Dave Simmons, little third grade Dave Simmons, like your sweet mom.

Like, Hey Dave, it's Halloween. Lemme give you a little Zofran. You know? She should have, she should have. I blame the adults. I mean, the adults say, no, this will be great. No, it's not great. So, you know, you talk about your little. Spook alleys. So at our church we would do, the little kids would do a spook alley and the teachers would put on this thing.

And so for instance, they would, they'd peel grapes and put it in a bag or a pot of some kind, not tell you what's in there. And then they would cook spaghetti, let it cool and put it in another bag. And you'd have to put your hand in there and you put it into the peeled grapes and like, Those are eyeballs.

You know, that's sick. It's mean. I actually agree. I'm gonna give you an agree. I That's sick. It's mean. These, these, these are grown adults making kids put their hands in things and then you go to the spaghetti. Those are brains. What, you're second grade? Yeah. I am sick seven years old and to this day, yeah, you will not find me putting my hand into anything foreign, which is precisely, it's probably the fourth or.

Well, I'd say about the 32nd reason, I could never be an ob, G y n. I'm not putting my hands in foreign places. I don't, yeah, I don't think you should. You won't catch me doing that. I'm not doing it. I can't be a gynecologist. I wonder if that, I wonder if that's like on a, you remember those tests you take in school?

Like say you've got a proclivity to be doctor or dentist or a lawyer. Do you like Halloween? Yeah. No, don't be a gynecologist. Can we say that on a podcast? I dunno if we can. Um, we're gonna have to run this one by our, yeah, run it by our screeners. World encompasses, but I think it's gonna be just fine. But I actually agree with you because that is sick, like wackos sick, crazy gross.

And I also will agree with you about the face paint. I hate. Face paint hate. It's so gross. I don't like, you don't wanna put makeup on. And I was always afraid that it was gonna get in my eyes and then it was gonna st. Stink. I hate it. I don't want it in my hair because like, I, I find myself in a weird position because like, I don't like face paint, but I did like to dress up for Halloween, Dave.

It's, which only leaves mass and I get angry when I see, uh, I'm, I don't wanna lose friends over this. Well, most my friends know my, my stance on this. That's true. I mean that if you're a grown person mm-hmm. And I'm talking after, after age 11, you're done dressing up. Yeah. You're done. Okay. Yeah. You're, it's you.

You've run your course with dressing up, you're done. But when I go in and I'm with my job, I'm in a lot of different businesses. Let's say Halloween falls on a. Saturday or Sunday, and you go in on a Friday and people are dressed up. It's not even Halloween yet. They're like, well, hey, Halloween's on, on a, on a weekend and I can't dress up for work.

Well, sorry you don't dress up for work. One time I went to an Outback steakhouse with my cousin for dinner. Happened to be on Halloween. First mistake for me. Yeah. 'cause now I, I don't even leave the house on Halloween. Oh. I, I go downstairs. I sit in the fetal position in the corner and nobody bothers me.

And I'm hoping that there's a jazz game on that I can watch. Yeah. Yeah. But if some, if they're not, then I just, I don't know. So we go in and our waiter walks up to our table and he is dressed as the shaggy dog. I mean, he is full on. Oh, that's gross. Jason. I couldn't order, I couldn't eat. I'm like, sorry man.

I, I'm out. We can't do this. First of all, they're probably gonna be like a hairball in your meal if you do. Yeah. That he coughed up. That's sick. Probably a cat's gross. I don't every, our dog will heave once in a while, so I don't know what he's working on. He just, ya on a bone. He got it up. He'll fi. He got it up.

He got it up. My whole appetite goes well because there definitely comes a point where you stop dressing up. Yeah. 11. It's 11. Yeah. 11 is probably a good age. I feel like I do need to kind of confess a little bit because I. I don't do it anymore, Dave, but I have been one of those people. I mean, I have been one of those people where I used to dress up at work.

Oh no. Yeah. I remember one time I used to work for a bank and I dress up as a pirate. One time our, like I had patch and everything. Yeah. Well, you know what I mean? Along the lines of dressing up as an adult. I was working at the bank at the time. We'd had these sales meetings. And I don't know whose genius idea it was, but we would have these sales meetings and it was like a rah rah meeting.

Everybody's awesome, you're champions. And we'd do it in the vein of that. Great. I'm not gonna call it great, but that old game show on TV called Let's Make a Deal. Yeah. You know, everybody dresses, dresses up, whatever. Can't watch it, by the way. Yeah. Well it's. Horrible. I, I turn it to the station and I see everybody dressed up.

Click, it's gone. It's gone. Well, our regional boss would come, he'd dress up, he'd be the host of the show, and then each branch, if you will, would sit at their table. So I was sitting there with my boss. Uh, he was dressed up. I was dressed up as a superhero typecast, you know? You sure? Yeah, yeah. Sure. You've got super Kimber.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You've got, you've got super skills. I mean, I had to fold a cape and like some goggles. I was a non-descript superhero, but that was pretty cool. No, it's not, by the way. Well, I feel good about it, man. I mean, if you're gonna dress up, I guess you'd be a superhero, but it's an oxymoron to me.

If you're dressed up as a grown man, as a superhero, you are definitely not a superhero's. You dressed up as a grown man. That's, you're a grown man. It's like you can't, those two things can't exist in the same room. No, they don't. No. In this room they did. Long story short, I'm dressing up as a superhero.

One of my colleagues, sweet Lady, loved her dearly. She said, Jason, let me get a picture of you. And I said, okay. She's like, let's make it an action shot. I'm like, okay. 'cause I'm a superhero. So she's like on three ready. I. So I'm like, I'm getting ready to kinda like pose like a superhero, like dear listener, if you can see this, like I'm getting ready to like kinda shoot my arm into the air.

How old is this person, this other person that wants to do this? Well, the person that's taking the picture, she's, she's an older lady. Okay. She's older lady. So she's just taking a picture. Okay. Right. I am, uh, Early twenties. Okay. Early twenties. Relatively new to the bank. Brand new to this branch actually.

So I'm getting ready to pose and, and nobody knows what my pose is gonna be, but in my mind, I'm gonna just shoot my right arm into the air. Punch the air. Yeah. Like I'm Superman. Well, it's a super Yeah, it's a super superhero. I'm got it. What I didn't know, Dave, and Oh, this is bad news. Um, my boss who was sitting.

Behind me and, and just to my side. He was going to photo bomb me apparently, and kind of get in on the picture. Yeah, I didn't know that. Uh oh. So he comes horing in over my right shoulder. She says 1, 2, 3, say cheese. And at that moment I'm like, ba bam. And I crack him. I catch him right across the nose.

Kapow, Kapow just like the old bad. Just Badhand movies. Kapow. I, I cracked him right in the nose. You, it wasn't straight on, but it, it did start to bleed. Good. Pop. Yeah. You really got him. Yeah. I, I, it was my boss started and you started. My boss was a couple of months started and I wasn't to the branch Jason.

She was like, Hey. It's like, didn't Steve Covey read a book about this, like seven ways to influence your boss? I don't, I don't know, but it was horrible. But to your point. Had I not been in costume, right, that never would've happened. Hey, nothing good happens in costume. Um, I didn't have a mask on, but as a kid I'd always wear masks because I hated makeup, but I was scared of masks too.

Well, it's an issue. It's an actual phobia, and I have it. I'm a sufferer from something that is actually called MAs phobia. I googled it. Here it is. MAs phobia is the fear of people in masks and costumes such as mascots, full-bodied costume characters, masquerade costumes, and Halloween costumes. Folks, I'm gonna bring the room down a little bit right now, please.

I'm a sufferer of Maslo phobia and I'm willing to put myself out there for others who would like to maybe start some sort of a support group because I have it. Hi, my name's Dave and hi. My name's Dave and I suffer from Maslo phobia. I can't look at mascots at sporting events. I enjoy sporting events as probably more than the next, but when that mascot comes around, I'm gone.

Did you know that Texas Roadhouse, the restaurant, they have a mascot? And it's an armadillo. Yeah. Which I always say armadillo because that's, it goes around a little grass script. Yeah. It really does. So anyways, I'm there one night and an armadillo starts walking around and I just try not to look, you know?

Sure. I, I mean, I am a grown man enough to think, okay. I. This is something I don't care for. I'm gonna look the other way. And you know that it's not like a real armadillo, I guess. I guess so anyways, this arm and why he is walking around, I don't know. I mean, it's not like he's giving out free awesome blossoms or something like that.

Yeah. Anyways, he, he's walking around. I'm assuming it's a, he. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. Safe. I didn't get a chance to look, look, look under the costume. Look under the shell, exactly. So, but anyways, at the corner of my eye, I see a younger gal, she's not a child. She's in, I would say low, early twenties. Sure.

Weeping, crying in the next booth over. I'm seeing this situation, I'm like, she suffers from the same Satan. I affliction, I suffer from the maslo phobia. She's a maslo phobia. Yes, she is. So anyways, the finally, the, the armadillo leaves and I, we get up, we're finished with our meal. I get up to leave and I, I, I have to ask her.

I'm like, Hey, I gotta ask you, did that armadillo bother you? And she goes, I am. Petrified of things like that. And I'm like, me too now. I wasn't weeping. Sure. And how old is she? I would say 23, 24. Oh, oh yeah. I mean, she was grown enough that she should, but she was crying her eyes out. I understand it. I felt for the poor gal because I know what it's like.

I see face paint, I'm out. Yeah. Like I, I'm a huge Seinfelds fan, but you know the one where putty is a face painter? Yeah. I can't watch you. But I can't watch that episode because I have a real problem with maslo phobia. Well, I'm actually, um, as you shared that story, I'm actually a recovering maslo phobia.

Maslo phobia, MAs phobia, phob maslo phobia. I'm a recovering maslo phobia. My older brother Wade. Mm-hmm. Five years older than me when we were younger. Horrible. Horrible. Just mean, just so mean. I'm just kidding. Love you, Wade. But when I was a little guy, my brother was a huge fan. Beautiful. And I love him now.

That beautiful band kiss, you know Gene Simmons kiss? Oh yeah. I can't, well, I cannot look at that. Yeah, because, and I share the last name. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Oh, that's, I didn't, didn't even make that connection. Yeah. Well, yeah. I cannot watch the band kiss. No. Face paint. No. Well, Wade loved kiss and he loved him so much that he, for Halloween, one year.

He got a mask of Gene Simmons. That's freaky. But it was one of those masks, I mean, we're talking, this is like early eighties, like a plastic mask with the rubber band that goes around the back. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's just really cheaply made, right? Yeah. But he can't breathe in those things.

But this is, this is when he and i's relationship, I mean, let's just be honest. When I tell you the story, you're gonna see why it was on the rocks. He would put that mask on and he would terrorize me. Oh. Oh my gosh. I mean, It just scared me so much. Like I can appreciate the music of Kissing Out, but that mask and seeing those guys as a kid scared the living out as it should right outta me, and he would chase me around the house and it just terrorized me.

Dave, that's mean terrorized me. And I tell you what, my mom, one day, she had too much of it. We had a Woodburn stove in our house. It must've been in the winter. It must've been on a cold day 'cause that sucker was burning hot. She had had enough, I can still remember this. She went over to Wade. He was terrorized with me.

She ripped that sucker right off of his face, opened up the stove, and hooked that mask right in there. Good for her. It was like victory. Yeah, victory for the little guy. Good for her. I've never loved Betty as much as I do right now. I know. I was, it was a big, it was a big win for me. Yeah. I hope Wade has, has, forgive me for that moment, but all that scared me, but because before we, I don't, I don't wanna get off this topic.

One more thing I just told Wade shouldn't have to forgive you. You should be forgiving him. Thank you. Yes. That's good point. Yes. That's good point. Absolutely. I mean, it might've been one of his prize possessions, but it is a horrible thing on if it was his prize possession, he needs to find a different prize possession.

It's horrible. Horrible. That's terrible. You like, like that song, you know, Beth, I hear you crying. You'll, you're like, like I was the one crying. Absolutely. You would as you should have been horrible. Just like those weirdos walking around our neighborhood trying to scare all the little kids while they're at trick or treating.

I don't get it. Why are you, why do you dress like a. A scarecrow sitting on the porch. So you think it's just a scarecrow? Yeah. You think it's just a dummy It's It's an, yeah. An inanimate object. Next thing you know who they jump at you. I don't want that. I don't need any of that stuff in my life. They jump out, I pee a little and then it's awful.

Exactly. Well, I think that it all stemmed from about the early eighties, the adults in the early eighties. Now I think they're considered the greatest generation because they're now in there. Seventies, eighties. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some things they could have been greater about. They could have worked a little better on that.

Yeah. Whoever came up with the game operation, I think is, oh, I think they are to blame for a much of the world's problem with anxiety nowadays. See, think about it. Yeah, for sure. You're going in there like, please don't touch the sides. It started the whole. The whole thing of anxiety I think might stem from the game of operation.

It's a problem in the world right now because it's like an electric shock. Yeah. It's gonna zap you. Yeah. Remember the great movie Ghostbusters? The very opening credits? Yeah. The guy's like doing the test. Is it like, can you see behind what's. On this card and he, he gets it right. But it, you know, he is like, you're wrong.

And he like shocks him. It's game of operation. I bet somebody was watching that movie like, you know what, we should come up with a game. Make it a game where you're gonna get shocked if you don't stay in this tiny, tiny little area. Yeah, you're, I, I don't know. I blame that one. And then just kind of on the whole maslo phobia thing, that Burger King guy, he's creepy, right?

Yeah. I can't watch those commercials. He's beyond creepy. I mean, I'm sure all the execs of Burger King are listening to Jason and Dave's podcast. Sure. I assume, guys, you gotta get rid of that guy. Yeah. I, he, nobody, I can't watch those commercials because he creeps me out and I, I, I question, I mean, is there really a need for a mascot of that nature?

I mean, let's just rank him. He is top number one creepy mascot. Oh, for sure. But I mean, even Ronald McDonald's not like close second. Well, I mean, yeah. Ronald McDonald is, is second, but yeah, they've tried to phase him out. Yes. They used to have all grimace. Oh yeah. And uh, the bur the hamburger. Exactly. They were all part of their thing.

Now they've kind of phased 'em out. You don't see a lot of 'em at Ronald McDonald anymore. Yeah. And you don't see a lot of those types of, and I don't think you should. You remember Lloyd the No. Yeah, avoid the noise. Avoid the noise for Dominoes. Dominoes, yeah. Just get rid of mascots all together. We don't need 'em.

We don't need 'em. We don't need 'em. Think about all your colleges, all your, you don't need 'em. And maybe we don't even need masks in general. I mean, I still, I can't get behind the concept. I like free candy. And so like, maybe, but instead of like Halloween, maybe what we do, maybe it's just a, maybe we just walk around and just say, Hey, gimme some free stuff.

Hey, gimme some candy. Isn't it funny? You're always taught as a child, don't take candy from strangers. Don't run in the road, don't fight with other children. Aren't all those things what we do at parades? Yeah. You know what? Good point. They're gonna throw you candy, go get it, and it's gonna be in the road and dart.

Yeah. You've got dart between Frogger styles between all these vehicles. Yeah. Pick up candy. Oh. And don't eat food off the ground. Don't eat candy off the ground. Okay. This candy's gonna be on the ground. Yeah. Thrown to you by a stranger. There are other kids are gonna be going after it. You got a. Fight those kids to get the candy in the meantime, try not to get hit by the next thing.

And there's probably a high probability that that candy landed in a spot where a horse pooped. Yeah, like five minutes earlier. Yeah. That was just scooped up. That wasn't quite scooped up by the guy that's dressed as a clown clown. That's right. You know what I hate. Clown, we probably should be bagging parades in general.

Yeah. There's really, we, we are teaching everything opposite of what we've tried to teach our children up until that point. We're gonna bag Halloween and we're just gonna, on the 31st of October, we're gonna celebrate fall and it's gonna be called fall. Fall. It's beautiful, right? I like it. Uh, by the way, never once have I found something that makes me think that a pumpkin should even exist.

Don't tell me pumpkin pie. It's got a weird, weird texture to that. Your mouth, Dave, your mouth. Disgusting. Listen. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup. Oh my gosh. Delicious pumpkin. Delicious soup, pumpkin bread. You throw a chocolate chip in that and like buddy, stick with, I know a lot of people talk about pumpkin chocolate chip bread and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies can do without 'em.

You know, I mean, that's not making me think, oh, can't wait for Halloweens for that, that pumpkin bread. But look, I'm gonna say this. You can have it on holiday. I'm gonna allow it. Traditionally doesn't have to have it. I mean, a jacko lantern is Halloween, but that's what associates in my head, yes. When I see a pumpkin, I go straight to Halloween.

In my head I'm gonna even allow it because I'm a sensible man. But we're bagging Halloween. Okay? We're going with holiday parades are right there. I mean, we might have to bag the parades. I love, I love the 4th of July is my favorite holiday. I don't really need the 4th of July parade. Maybe what they could do if they were to maybe like up their candy game.

Yeah. Throw me a kink sized Snickers. Yeah. Like if you're throwing me like saltwater taffy the, the moment I'm gonna put it in my 43 year old mouth, I'm gonna lose a filling. I know. Saltwater taffy's gross. Susie loves it. And I think It'ss gross. It's fresh and delicious. I'll eat it. I've never had a fresh, did they exist?

Well, I mean, that's a good point. And if you get a watermelon one Oh, I do like that. But it's gonna be fresh and delicious. The chances of getting that is. Better off finding a four leaf clover. That's true. Have you seen that People nowadays in parades are starting to throw otter pops. It's the dumbest thing I've ever ridiculous seen.

They were frozen at one point. They were, but now that you're starting to launch 'em, they're not as frozen. They, they were frozen when you pulled 'em out of the freezer. At your house, but when those hit the ground, the little plastic chips, now they're leaking Otter pop everywhere, all over, and then you put 'em in the bag with the rest of your candy no good.

By the time you get home, you get like an otter pop soup and, and, and you're like, has anybody ever said, you know, what would make a Laffy Taffy or a. Saltwater taffy better. Like just maybe soak it in some otter pop juice. Well, ugh, you, yeah, you're right. The same people would say, you know what makes soup better?

Putting pumpkin in it. No, they wouldn't. No. No. False. No, it's not false. False. Nobody eats pumpkin soup. I think that, you know who eats pumpkin soup? People from Grass Creek. Well, you know, and, and actually I gotta back up a little bit, buddy. You know what pumpkin soup is actually made of? I would assume pumpkin.

Nah, it's a misnomer. Butternut squash. Well then it's not pumpkin, so. I know. I know. So we're gonna allow butter now, Scott, can we now not allow pumpkins anymore? Uh, you'd select the bread and you like the I can. I like actually, and I like pumpkin pie, but I don't like it made out of a real pumpkin. I want it right outta the can.

See what I'm saying? Yes. We don't really need pumpkins. We probably could just, but I would like to, I mean, we open up polls. Can we pull the readers? Like is there actually any real pumpkin in a can of pumpkin puree? I don't know. I doubt it. Probably not. I doubt it. I doubt it af the day after Halloween.

You would think it'd be my favorite day of the year. But there's still remnants of Halloween. I remember as a kid there were pumpkins smashed all over the roads. Yeah, that's sick. Those hooligans, the street Tufts out there throwing pumpkins around on the ground. Who's gonna clean that up? So I think the best day of the year is around November 4th or fifth.

Yeah. When? When Halloween. It's outta your system. Yeah, well I got 360 ish days before. I have to gear up for another Halloween. Can I share one more story that just came to me? Please, please do. I mean, I don't really know where we're coming out on time. We've kind of discovered that neither one of us really like masks.

We don't really like to be like scared. No, like jumped. And I like fall. I'm okay with a corn maze. They're, they're fine. I could take 'em or leave 'em. It's not a big deal for me until they become the haunted corn Ma. But if you make a haunted corn maze, I'm out. I hate 'em. You hate 'em. It's the worst.

They're the worst. I did something in college that I'm not proud of. Oh no. Uh, this is almost like a confessional. You didn't participate in one, did you? You didn't. Well, no, of course not. I maybe did something even worse. Oh, no. Yeah, because we were, they're a big group of us and we're out at the American West Heritage Center, just like a local place in town.

Yeah. We went through this haunted corn MAs and it was awful. And I hate corn mes the haunted ones for sure. And we got clear to the end and we thought, you know what would be super fun? Me and like seven of my friends who are obviously horrible influences on me. Yeah. We thought, let's do this. Let's all grab a stock of corn from the surrounding MAs and let's form a barricade right in front, like you go right past us and around the bend and you're out of the maze.

Each one of us grabbed a stock of corn and we stood there like centuries. Mm-hmm. Blocking the exit. Oh, now you couldn't see the exit. It was just around the next corner. And people would come to us, some people would see us and then just turn, some people would come and we would say, we would say, Dave, sorry, we work here.

There's a problem. This is not the way out. Keep going. We work here. And people would say, oh, we've been in here forever. And we're like, sorry, it's not the way out. Turn around. Turn around. You're almost. There. Just keep going. Go back from once you came. Yes, exactly. I think I'm gonna have to answer for that sometimes.

You probably will. Yeah. You, you led people astray. Yeah. I mean, and then it, it turned 'em back into that horrible, horrible maze of haunted creatures. Eventually one of the real employees came. That kicked us out. Well, they, that would, that would make sense. So I'm, I'm gonna blame your friends. It just doesn't feel like something you would just say, Hey guys.

Let's deliberately lead people astray. It seems like a horrible thing. Yeah. But I will actually get on board with you. In fact, I don't know if we can start like, in, in this day and age with social media, is it like change.org where we can start maybe a letter writing, a grassroots campaign? Yeah. To do away with Halloween?

I would like that. And just call it fall day. Fall day. Yeah. Fall. Fall. I mean, I'm, I'm just throwing it out there. Look, I know I'm probably not in the majority here, but at the same time, I'd like to throw it out there. Uh, all those people out there who are saying, Hey, it'll be funny to go and scare the crap outta Dave this Halloween.

No, it's not, it's not funny. It's not. I I, I, I don't like it. I have a problem with it. If you have a phobia with say, I don't know drowning. Yeah. I'm not gonna hold you under the water. No, it's not. Fun. No, it's not fun for you at all. It's not fun at all. I ate snakes. If you bring one to me, I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

You squeal like a little girl and run the other way. Run the other way. If, if somebody doesn't like, like spiders, they got what? Arachni phobia. I'm not gonna come and bring a spider because it's rude. As a jerk move. It's a jerk move. It's a jerk move. And. Halloween is my spider. Yeah. Or is my everything else so.

So don't come and mess with me on that day because I might punch. Exactly. I don't wanna punch you, but they would deserve it. But just like your poor boss that day, I will. Superhero, oppose. And you might end up with a bloody nose. Bloody nose. But I love you. I gotta be left alone on Halloween. Alright guys.

So October 31st, uh, 2021 holiday. That's what it is. Okay. All right, we're out. We'll see you guys. Thanks again, folks, for listening to another episode of The Small Towns Podcast. We're pretty sure we've changed your life for the better. If not, well, we'll try again next time.